The Obsession of Online Searches for Gear

I can still recall when the Leica bug sunk its tooth into me. I was like a fish - hook, line, and sinker - completely proselytized by the evangelical of Peter. Mind you, the Peter I’m referring to isn’t “the” fisherman, but is in fact Peter Karbe, the Chief Optical Apostle, begotten by Walter Mandler, in turn begotten by Max Berek. Anyway, it was the Leica 50mm f/0.95 Noctilux-M ASPH that converted me, being the holy grail when the folks at Wetzlar found their way to the full frame digital age. Since I learned of that lens, it was all I coveted.

However, the passion did not run deep for long, for I was able to soothe the yearning within a few weeks. As if the light shone from above, my online prayers were answered by the men in black and gartel at the temple of gear on Ninth Avenue and 34th Street providing sanctuary for a forsaken pre-owned 50 Noct. Without a doubt, the revelation was intended for me. I was about to close down my house for the season and leave the city the morning after. Furthermore, the lens was 10% off, which must definitely be a sign from above!

Grace was truly on my side. So when it came time to devote myself to my next passion - the Leica 35mm f/1.4 Summilux-M ASPH - I thought that it would continue to bless me still. However, none were forthcoming. Thus, I was compelled to while away many an hour hunting for a vendor with the 35 Lux in stock. At the time, I wasn’t on any seller’s A-list. As such, I resided on ordering one with the men in black. The months came and passed, and before long, the dream of getting that elusive lens became nothing but a distant glimmer.

Kodak Ektachrome E100 @35mm Focal Length

Obsessed with what I did not have and unsatisfied with what I did have, I searched online for an answer to fill that hole in my heart left by not having the 35 Lux. Of course, providence would expect me to wait - for those who wait shall receive salvation. But temptation slithered down the tree of gear offering me a Leica 35mm f/2 Summicron-M ASPH Black Paint. It’s glossiness and red number scale bewitched me. And without so much as a thought, I procured it in a moment of weakness, believing this false idol would hold me over.

Still, I wasn’t satisfied. I continued to search in vain for the answers online for what I didn’t have. The hole in my heart needed to be filled with everything my eyes could see from the rumor mills announcing next generation iterations coming down the product cycle pipeline. With so much temptation, I could not resist whiling away my life in front of a screen, divining intent to fill the hole in my heart cut deep by what I did not have. And when at last the apple was offered to me, I took a bite with my own freewill, and regretted it soon after.

Buyers remorse. Did I really need to get yet another lens? Without fail, I talked myself into believing I made the right and only decision. But, that apologia never lasts for long. The covetousness, which lurks deep inside me, simmers to a boil, whereupon it bursts out rapturously with one more bite after another and another - binging serially like a man possessed - until I end up with more lenses than I could ever use at any one time collecting dust in a dry box. Even so, my eyes doth wanders evermore in search of the next passion to covet.

And so, I bring into the discussion the rumored Leica APO 35mm f/2 Summicron-M ASPH. How my heart skips a beat - fluttering wildly in anticipation - for this said-to-be iteration of the 35 Cron might very well be the most perfect lens ever revealed by the Chief Optical Apostle and his Disciples at Wetzlar. It would be like the Leica APO 50mm f/2 Summicron-M ASPH - but wide enough to capture groups without backing up, wide enough to photograph in relatively tighter spaces, and wide enough to document more environmental context.

Thoughts of wide angle perfection akin to the APO 50 is spiking my appetite for rumors of the APO 35. When will there be sample images? When will there be comparison images between its immediate predecessor - or for that matter - all its predecessors? And when will the APO 35 finally be announced? Be released? And be in stock? When? How that mental anguish of unknowing is elevating me to a zealous fervor, leading me online to search fanatically for any revelations of its coming. I must have faith that the answers will be revealed.

But, is blind faith in the work of the Chief Optical Apostle and his Disciples the way for true believers of optical purity? Will the coming of the APO 35 really transform one’s photography? Being in a state of unknowing, I can only search online for the answers of when the APO 35 will come. So, I search. And with each result I turn up, it brings me ecstasy. It makes me want to surrender to the search, leading me to lose myself completely. If only I knew the “APO” of my eye is just another temptation slithered down from the tree of gear. Vanity of vanity.

Faith is of the heart, but reason is of the mind. To rationalize my obsession to search online, reason must be employed. What many do not realize is that there is an anthropological explanation to our compulsive nature to search obsessively. It goes back to our hunter gatherer days when our ancestors foraged for edible plants and entomophagic delights. Our reptilian brains (as it is sometimes termed) adapted to optimize our survival by predisposing us instinctually to forage for food while rewarding us with a hit of joy when we find it.

In other words, the act of foraging is a non-conscious lower cognitive process requiring no higher cognitive function. There is absolutely no prefrontal thinking involved, so it is completely effortless. In return, the act of finding what you are looking for - like a patch of berries - produces feelings of joy, activated neurologically through the release of dopamines. Given how cognitively easy and rewarding the act of foraging is, we lose ourselves completely in the undertaking by ceding conscious awareness to non-conscious automation.

It’s no wonder that we love to search for gear online. Essentially, it’s the modern day equivalent of foraging for carbohydrates, proteins, and dietary fats. Only now, rumors, reviews, and specifications are what motivates us to search without end. And as an added benefit, searching online is so much less exhausting than covering miles and miles on foot for tuber roots and termite mounds. It’s only one click away, and immediately you get your dopamine fix with the next hit always just another click away. Best of all, you’re being productive. 😉

But, are you really? While you’re busy online searching for gear, you’re not out there taking photos. What you gain from foraging for information about the various gear you covet is really just mental amusement. It gives one the illusion of learning and productivity when in fact you’re just whiling away the hours. Searching online for gear is a deeply addictive undertaking. For that reason, time in front of the screen should really be limited. Eventually, there comes a time when each additional search will only yield a marginal benefit.

Our hunter gatherer ancestors didn’t forage without end. Foraging required calories and actual physical labor while our modern day foraging for rumors, reviews, and specifications take no physical effort all. And, there is also the need for daylight. Without it, our ancestors could not forage into the night. By comparison, searching online for gear can go on late into the night because of the blue light on your screen keeping you wide awake. Consequently, our ancestors had to stop while we just kept on going when the sun came down.

Mind you, this does not mean that one shouldn’t go online to undergo a process of consumer research or due diligence before contemplating a first time purchase or an upgrade. Truly, online content can be an invaluable source of information. But, don’t kid yourself. Most of your online searching and foraging is just entertainment. That said, there is nothing intrinsically wrong about being entertained. But beyond a certain threshold of time, the act of searching online for gear is wasteful. Therefore, get off this blog and take some photos!

So what happened to my 35 Lux? After fourteen months, that brown UPS box arrived at my doorstep. But, not before I foraged online and procured many additional lenses. Looking back, I never use that 35 Lux anymore. However, my zealousness online and subsequent over procurement of gear might actually be the genesis of this dog and pony amusement show. I had to justify all this tonnage! Hallelujah and Amen for this excuse of an abetment to the addiction of online searches for gear.

By the way, I do not even remember which 35mm lens I used on this photowalk. It just goes to show how very immaterial gear is (in its minutiae) with regards to one’s work product. Then again, that rumored APO 35 does seem awfully tempting, slithering down the tree of gear. But, will it transform my photography? Unfortunately, it won’t. However, if you are looking for your first 35 Cron, and do not want it second hand, then the APO 35 is for you - albeit at a premium to the non-APO version.

Again, special thanks to Melissa. This was her final photowalk on this dog and pony show.

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Feb 27 The Obsession of Online Searches for Gear

Disclaimer

Feb 27 The Obsession of Online Searches for Gear

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