New Subject — STREET SILHOUETTES

Strangely, I have never worked with a local person on this dog and pony show. All my partners-in-crime were not from Hong Kong when I was in Hong Kong. Anna was from Russia. Lydia was from Sweden. Judit was from Hungary. Melissa was from Equatorial Guinea. Beatrice was from Romania. Kamila was from Kazakstan. Lenka was from Slovenia. And, Ania was from Brazil. That said, it’s not as if I didn’t try to connect with the locals when I was in Hong Kong. For whatever reason, local Hong Kongers were just not interested in working with me.

I often felt that local Hong Kongers were not interested because of some esoteric cultural reason that evaded my sensibilities. Who knows? Maybe they were not interested in working with me because I never broke into their network? Or, maybe it is because they did not need to extend their network given that they already knew enough people? Or, maybe they are just plain unfriendly? Whatever the reason, I have always felt that this dog and pony show was somewhat incomplete, given the absence of local representation in front of the camera.

But then something happened to me, that I did not expect, forced me to reevaluate my experience in working with the locals in Hong Kong. In the Pacific Northwest, I discovered I was getting just as much interest from all the locals I reached out to as I did from all the locals I reached out to in Hong Kong. Zero. Maybe locals are not interested in working with me because they have fuller lives and do not need to find external distractions to fill their days with something to do. They have full time jobs, families, and routines that take up their time.

Pearl District, Portland, Oregon - Leica M11 + Leica APO 35mm f/2 Summicron ASPH-M

Nevertheless, it was only a matter of time when someone got back to me. The interest I received seemed very positive. I was relieved that I could finally embark on the third iteration of this dog and pony show. But then, all of a sudden, the tone of interest changed to one of caution. A request for a chaperone was made. Obviously, I was not prepared for this unexpected development, since I have never been asked to include a chaperone on any of my photowalks in the past. In fact, I even did know how to respond to this request. I mean, seriously?

For me, it hit a nerve. On one hand, I understood that it was prudent to be cautious. However, what I intended to do was so innocuous and outside, in public during office hours, that I did not understand how perilous such a harmless undertaking could be. Moreover, I have the track record documented on this blog that many have found working with me to be a worthwhile endeavor to repeat and repeat. That said, I do concede that there is always the uncertainty with first time collaborations. Yes, I could be an axe wielding psychopath with ill intent.

But, I know I am not. And, to be put in that position was uncomfortable for me. Even though I wanted to restart this dog and pony show, and have someone in front of the camera, I did not want to accept the demand. It did not feel right to me. Admittedly, I understand my acceptance of this demand would have helped alleviate any doubt. However, accepting such demands was also accepting that mischaracterization - that I was someone not to be trusted. On top of that, there was also a practical rationale why I would not accept such a demand.

It has to do with my creative process. And no, it is not some excuse to hide behind. For me, doing what I do is an exceptionally involving task. I mean, I have to be acutely observant of everything around me - including my surroundings, subject’s demeanor, and photographable opportunities. Thus, having a third wheel following us around will be distracting. How distracting? Well, I would always be aware of the chaperone’s presence. Thus, I would always be looking for the chaperone, which would take attention away from my efforts to observe.

It is not just me. The subject changes too. Awareness of the third wheel will invariably distract the subject. It is not as if the chaperone is only keeping an eye on me. The chaperone is keeping an eye on the subject too. So, it is only naturally that the subject is aware of this scrutiny. Thus, the subject will divert attention away from my subject direction and behave according to what is expected or assumed to be expected by that third wheel. As such, the subject’s commitment towards my direction will never be complete, given competing interests.

And of course, there is also my expression of self in front of a third wheel. To be perfectly clear, I don’t want to share that part of me with someone who’s not invested in what I’m creating because my creative process is a deeply personal undertaking. I have to expose myself without my protective façade, so that I can gain enough comfort from my subject to reciprocate the gesture. It can be a very vulnerable process, since we do open up to each other about our thoughts. But with that closer connection, I can capture my subject’s actual self.

What needs to be understood is that I am not doing work. What I do are not professional photoshoots. It is not as if I have make up artists, stylists, and assistants on set. So to include a chaperone on my photowalk is not a request that I will accommodate. That said, why is it all right to have more eyes on a professional photoshoot? Wouldn’t the social geometry of more eyes inhibit the creative process? Well, yes. However, the objective of a professional photoshoot is not the same as what I do. I am not trying to capture my subject’s work face.

Anyway, there was no compromise. I pushed back. And in the end, we did not end up working together. That’s life, I guess. But now that I have had time to unpack all that had happened, I think I have figured out why locals do not want to work with me. They are not interested in being a part of a dinky little sideshow, like this dog and pony show. Instead, they want to be a part of a more substantial productions with make up artists, stylists, and assistants. So without the blanket safety of more eyes on set or on a photowalk, the answer will always be no.

Frankly, I was very upset by this unpleasant episode. Though in retrospect, I believe not working together was really for the best. Ironically, I know this individual would have enjoyed working with me. There is so much one can gain from working with me. That said, I am pretty sure I would not have reciprocated the same sentiment. I think I would have been walking on eggshells all the time, had we ended up working together. And the result of all this unpleasantness would have been photos marred by the telltale signs of awkwardness and tension.

Why locals are like this? Why do they have such high expectations? Unfortunately, I do not know. But if I had to speculate, I think that locals are less adventurous and more risk averse. They have no reason to take a chance on someone like me. Like I said, I could be an axe wielding psychopath. That said, I could also be someone to talk to about life’s trouble. But for locals, they do not need someone like me to provide them comfort. Knowing that, what possible scenario is there for a risk averse person to take a chance on me and this dinky little blog?

None I should think. But as a commentary on the world, it is very telling. An unknown photographer cannot be trusted. A potential subject needs to be cautious. And the likelihood of collaboration is contingent on whether a collaboration is worth consideration. In terms of the cold calculus that governs our collective judgment, this attitude has become the norm. Unfortunate, isn’t it. Still, I would rather hold on to my principles than cave in to any demands. In that case, a potential subject has the right to say no. However, I also have the right to say no.

I really dodged a bullet here. That said, I was still one subject shy of a photowalk. But fate works in mysterious ways. When a door closes, a window opens. After what seemed like hundreds of inquiries, someone else got back to me. Obviously, I was on heightened alert after experiencing such unpleasantness. Who knows if more mischaracterization would be flung towards me. However, there were no unpleasantness this time. In fact, our first contact seemed like déjà-vu. That is to say, the local I found was not strictly speaking completely a local.

Alls well that ends well. Still, I wish the process of finding a new subject for this dog and pony show wasn't like this.

Last, you might all think I am making a big deal over nothing with regards to my creative process, given that what I am seeking is just that final one percent. However, it is that final one percent that really makes a photo a keeper. To that end, I believe I am justified to respond in that manner. But to be fair to all potential subjects, if they are not comfortable, they too are justified in their response, since that final one percent would never be captured if they are not comfortable.

Special thanks to Grace for joining me on this photowalk.

Disclaimer

Jul 8 New Subject

Disclaimer

Jul 8 New Subject

Jul 13 Quirkiness

Jun 18 New Beginnings